^^^ This is what I have been thinking more often than not as of late. On the hair boards I frequent, I find that we are all are in an insulated community. We are all striving for the same goals and are (more or less) engaging in healthy hair practices. However, I find that there is an abrupt shift from this in real life. In real life, I find that the "good hair" mentality is firmly entrenched in a lot of people. Well, at least the people that I have come into contact with. They take one look at my hair and say " If I had your kind of hair, I would do x,y,z" or " With your grade of hair you can do things like that" or any other comment that leaves me making the screw face.
Let me be real with yall. My hair isn't comprised of soft textured ringlets that can easily be straightened and never breaks. Nope. Not even a little a bit. My hair is coarse, tightly coiled, and I have a lot of it! My hair can also be a rebellious little such and such. However, I took the time to figure out what my hair craves (moisture, moisture, and did I forget to mention moisture?) and adopted a regimen that fits my hair ( No, I can't relax frequently and no, I definitely cannot use heat frequently). That's it. There's no magic to it...just common sense. It just frustrates me that in the AA community that this myth of good hair/bad hair still persists. What is even more saddening is that so many women think that healthy, long hair is beyond the realm of possibility.
What do yall think? Have you encountered anything like this?
This is so true and something I had to realize a while ago when I started trying to discuss haircare with my "real life" friends. When my hair was natural, it always astonished me how people was shocked to see that my hair was curly or feel how soft it was. I even had someone who worked in the hair business tell me that I had a good grade of hair and how she could never have hair like me.
ReplyDeleteThere is a big difference in my hair now and how it was before I started my healthy hair journey (especially now that I have relaxed again). It doesn't have anything to do with "fairy dust." I just learned how to take care of my hair.
@Curliebelle It's so frustrating isn't it? Even when you explicitly detail your regimen, people counter it with "well my grade of hair isn't like your grade of hair." I try not to talk hair w/ most people in real life b/c I just wind up frustrated smh
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with you. Once I got the hang of what my hair needs, the products to 'feed it'(my sister swears that my hair is alive and feeds off hair products), and a regimen (low heat/protective styling/CONSTANT moisture), I realized just how easy it can be to grow your hair to whatever length you wish. Initially, it was a lot of trial and error, but after a year, I knew exactly what works for my hair.
ReplyDeleteI think it just seems like too much work for some people. Especially those who are used to washing their hair once a month. With that said, it may be easier to just dismiss it by using the old 'your grade of hair is better so that is why your hair grows' excuse. Sometimes it is just easier to throw weave in if you want long hair...
It seems as though the only time I get credit for growing my hair is from the hairboards because 'outsiders' don't think it is my real hair. It is because all we see in the media and around us is women with either weave (no disrespect to those who wear weave) or short hair. I didn't see AA women with WL/HL/TL hair until I joined a hairboard. Seeing that is what encouraged me and gave me the confidence to try and get into the WL/HL club.
The more people see that it is possible to grow your hair to incredible lengths regardless of its texture, stop being hair lazy (although I know some people who are VERY hair lazy and have incredible hair..I just wasn't one of them), and be patient and consistent, those preconceived notions can finally be put to rest (or at least I HOPE so).
*Getting off my soapbox
@Age in ATL I definitely understand where you are coming from!!! I think a large part of it is that people need to get tired of the current state their hair is in. Personally, I was one of the many who relaxed too often, barely washed hair, etc. until I got tired of seeing broken hair all over my bathroom sink and floor. I didn't even start my journey wanting long hair. I just wanted the breakage to stop. You're absolutely right though. More people do need to see that it is possible to grow hair to great lengths if they so choose. However, I think we have a long way to go before that happens.
ReplyDeleteI see it all of the time. Shoot, I used to be one of them. So, I don't get frustrated because I was once there. Whenever I'm in a conversation about that, I just share my experiences and techniques and move on. We can't change a person's deeply rooted thinkings in one conversation, so I just aim to plant a seed and keep it moving.
ReplyDelete@Your Cheeziness Excellent point! I admit I need to make a effort to adopt this way of thinking.
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