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Sunday, October 21, 2012

Sunday Chat: Have You Ever Just Say Something?

I know what you're thinking and yes, I am actually posting a Sunday Chat on a Sunday! Let's clap it up for that! * claps*

Now...on to the topic.

Giving unsolicited hair advice is always a tough thing for me. In my day to day, I see so many women whose hair is just beyond damaged and dry and whatever else adjective you can think of. Oftentimes, they will talk to me about hair their hair and how it is so difficult to do anything with it and really just ponder cutting their hair off. Meanwhile, I'm sitting there thinking "Well if you would stop relaxing it every time a curl pops up and moisturize it a bit, you'd be ok." But folks ain't trying to hear me though.

Once upon a time not long ago, when people wore pajamas and lived life slow, I actually tried to give hair advice that wasn't necessarily asked for. The response I got to my advice? "Well I don't have good hair like you."



So from that point on, I stopped giving advice that wasn't asked for. However, sometimes it's hard not to when you see that someone's hair is so damaged. I just want to be helpful and present some options they hadn't thought of. Instead, I have to just sit back and wait for those folks to come to me and asked their questions.

How do you deal with wanting to give advice? Have you ever received hair advice that you never asked for?


  1. I don't give unsolicited advice anymore. I've only done so 1 or 2 times (after wracking my brain about how to go about it) and each time, the person gave me some whack excuse why it's impossible to achieve healthy hair. So I just keep it to myself, unless I'm asked about how I care for my hair.

    I've received plenty of unsolicited advice and it's always from women with unhealthy hair. I just nod and say thank you, I appreciate it. If it's something that's just really incorrect though - like once someone told me that my hair would grow faster if I relaxed it more often O_o - I try to explain nicely why that's not true.

  2. Yep co-sign with Jeni, I only give advice when asked. Even after being asked what I've been doing I give an evasive answer like 'I just baby my hair or I've been working hard on taking care of it' and only go into detail if they ask more questions. I've realised that its just better to make sure the person is really interested before giving them my full regimen etc. or i get the 'I don't have time for all that' response.

    I have gotten some unsolicited advice, the most recent being from a roommate that told me I wash my hair too often. I just said 'my hair seems to like it' a response I mentioned under one of Jen's posts. That response typically ends the 'advice' without the person getting offended.

  3. I only give advice when asked. The last time someone asked me I said I wash my hair once a week. The girl told me that water is bad for my hair. Most of the time when people ask me, I don't even tell them everything I know because it seems like they don't want to beleive it.
    It actually interesting because when I think about it, everything I've learned since starting my hj has been the opposite of what I was taught about black hair.

  4. *nodding* Yes girl, I had this thought today in church. This women's snap short, gelled up, broken off ponytail made me sad. Seriously. Not the stare-at-you-shaking-my-head sarcastically type of sad but really I felt bad for her hair. But, I keep my mouth shut. Now that I've actually started sharing my blog a tiny bit more, I have the opposite problem...people ALWAYS wanna ask me about their hair. And sometimes I just don't have it in me to give advice or talk hair. I feel like a total b!tch when I say "That info is all on my's the website" but sometimes its the best I can do at the moment! lol

  5. Hi! Great site! I'm trying to find an email address to contact you on to ask if you would please consider adding a link to my website. I'd really appreciate if you could email me back.

    Thanks and have a great day!

  6. I do not give unsolicited advice to people I am not close to. If someone asks me what products I use or how I grew my hair, I will give them some pointers or share info about products I use but only if asked. Hair is a touchy subject with some people and the last thing I want to do is offend or make someone feel bad about their hair.