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Sunday, May 8, 2011

Lessons My Mama Taught Me

Happy Mother's Day to all the mommies out there!

In honor of Mother's Day, I just want to take a moment to talk about my mom and share some hair related (and some non hair related) things I have learned from her.

Onto the hair stuff.....

Now let me say that during the time that my mom had me, she was the tomboy of all tomboys. She wasn't into hair or makeup for real but then here I come...her firstborn...all extra girly and stuff lol. However, she has taught me some important lessons about hair.

1)You should wash your hair frequently. When I was coming up, my hair got done weekly (usually on a Saturday or a Sunday). That was just what you did. Now granted, we had no clue about sulfate free shampoos or deep conditioners but we did know that you couldn't go weeks (or months) at a time w/o washing it.

2) Relaxer broke your hair off? Stop using it! Ah. The Great Relaxer Debacle of '98. I had gotten my first relaxer (hey..I was in middle school and wanted to be like the other girls in my class), my hair was super straight, and my hair began to break off. It was my mother who first took notice of it and it was my mother who put the breaks on me relaxing for awhile. She set up a regimen of sorts for me during that time too. I was to wash and condition my hair weekly, then she would braid it (cornrows, french didn't matter). It actually turned out to be something good for my hair.

3) You aren't supposed to relax that frequently. When I was in high school, I started relaxing my hair again but this time, it was my mom who would relax my hair. Now the frequency in which my hair was relaxed was entirely dependent on my mom and a lot of times she just didn't feel like it. Shoot, a lot of times she didn't feel like relaxing her own hair. The result? I would go 3,4, or 5 months between relaxers. I was stretch before I even knew what it was! In retrospect, my hair was a lot healthier then. I really didn't begin to see damage in my hair until I went to college and started relaxing every 4 weeks.

Since life isn't only about hair, I've learned a lot of life lessons from my mom as well. However, since I don't have the space or the time to list out almost 26 years worth of lessons (and I'm sure you guys don't feel like reading all of that lol), I'm narrowing it down to the 3 big ones.

1) Be yourself. Yeah I know. It's so simple but it is so true. I spent a good portion of my life trying to fit what other people thought of me--and I was miserable for it. Now, however, I am 100% me--quirks and all. I can be a little too blunt sometimes (well a lot of the time), I'm kind of a nerd, and a tad bit goofy ...and that's ok with me. That's the person I am.

2)It's never too late to do the right thing. Admittedly, this is something I struggle with from time to time b/c I find it difficult to forget when someone has slighted me in some way. However, I can now appreciate someone making the effort to want to make things right and I can be a little more receptive to hearing their side of the tale. On the flip side, I can realize that if I have slighted someone, it's never too late for me to make things right.

3) Get your finances in order. This is something I learned a long time ago as a child. My mom struggled to make ends meet during my childhood. Even though she was in the military, there were plenty of times when Pepco turned our lights off, our water got turned off, we had to go into the Commissary w/ only $50 to spend on food, etc. I knew at the age of 9 that I didn't want to struggle like that when I was a grownup. Growing up through that not only taught me that you have to be able to discern between a need and a want (I mean it really did) but it taught me the importance of budgeting and paying your bills on time. I'm still working on the budgeting thing but I definitely pay those bills on time lol.

I know this was kinda long but I just wanted to share some things that I have learned from my mother and let y'all know just how awesome she is!

What lessons have you learned from your mother?


  1. Thanks for those tips!!

    When I was a child my mom said it's best to keep my hair in braids. I'm so glad she kept my hair in braids because it is a protective style (of course I didn't know that back then).

  2. @Best Tressed I definitely didn't think of braids as a protective style either! I was just glad that I didn't have to get my hair combed everyday! LOL